Abandonment

A “friend’s” brother has a dog – a funny looking dog – who was apparently left as a puppy. When you leave the dog alone, even for a bit, he goes crazy – barking, jumping up into the window to see you leave. It’s said. The poor dog has a fear of abandonment. He was left as a puppy, and now he’s afraid anyone who takes care of him or loves him or whom he loves will leave him for good.

Another friend of mine – an old teacher/priest – once said that, after observing plenty of people face death, that the only thing that seems to matter is how well you have loved and how well others love you.

Relationships are complex, for sure. And mistakes happen. But strong relationships are supposed to endure. They endure because they matter. Because the people involved care. Because when you commit to something, you stay committed. That’s supposed to matter.

When those commitments fall short, people get hurt. When they are terminated, people get destroyed. And that destruction takes its form in the feeling of abandonment. The feeling of being completely left alone by the one you love, and the one who used to love you. It’s terrifying how thoroughly you can be hurt by someone.

I’m the dog barking crazily. I’m a dog! I’m looking at the window at anybody I’m close to as they walk away, even if I know it’s just for a little while. I’ve now been abandoned.