Burned

I’ve just wrapped up another month at the burn center. My rotations at that little specialty ICU over the years have managed to coincide with some emotional times in my life, and as a result they’ve proved the starting place for some important revelations.

Burn victims have the potential to be some of the sickest patients in the whole hospital. But aside from just that, one of the most difficult things for the families and friends is the total disfiguration of their loved one. Your skin is your largest organ, and when it’s violently removed it can have a devastating effect. Just last night I was asked by a women where I might find her dearest friend in the world whom she had traveled to visit. I didn’t know what to say – she was standing right in front of him. But his face was missing, and the tracheostomy tube at the base of his neck was a gruesome reminder that we were performing for him the most basic of human needs – breathing.

How could this be? Her pain was so clear. Just last week he was fine, working long and happy hours at his store, spending time with his family. She’d seen his recent picture on Facebook – on her computer she could still see his precious face and look into his eyes and feel that trapped happiness that was more temporary than he could have ever imagined. How can change come this dramatically, and this quickly? How is that even possible?

I have no idea. But consider this. As I started to walk away another family member, from two rooms down, popped his head out and tried to get my attention. He’d spent many evenings here, and I’d spent plenty of time speaking with him and his sisters over the long month explaining all aspects of our care. “Hey Doc,” he said as his eyes locked on mine, “thanks for giving us our mom back. She looks terrific.”

In every possible sense, the burn center is a transformative place. I guess I just never imagined myself being transformed there. Then again, if this line of work didn’t change me somehow, I’d wonder if maybe I wasn’t missing something. Lord knows, I’ve missed plenty of things before.