Moving On

In many ways this blog has fulfilled its purpose. Writing is much less about putting down on paper what we already know and more about putting thoughts down on paper so that we can see exactly what we know and start the process of filling in the gaps. Never in my life have I so needed a space to help me sort out my thoughts and fill in the gaps. To those of you who continually encouraged me to write, I thank you.

I thought long and hard about ending this blog for good, and keeping my thoughts to myself. But then, that seemed like a bad idea. If I can write when I’m sad, surely I can write when I’m happy.

And – I almost want to whisper when I say this – I’m finally happy. Or at least I feel like my old self again. Sure, I have my moments when I think on the past and I’m sad. In many ways I’ve been changed forever, and I’ll never get any of that back. I don’t know if I’m better or worse than I was a year ago, but I am definitely a different person. New and improved? We can only hope.

But if surgery teaches us anything – hell, if being a goalie teaches us anything – we have to move on. There’s no use in dwelling on the last patient when another victim is being wheeled into the trauma bay. And there’s no good worrying about that bad goal when another puck is already on its way. Focus, and move on.

And so I have.