Goalies are Crazy

I’ve spent a significant amount of time standing between goal posts attempting to keep small, hard, rubber objects from getting past me. Whether on the cool ice of a hockey rink or the worn grass of a lacrosse field, I just – for whatever reason – always felt comfortable in the goal.

Everyone knows that goalies are crazy. I mean, who in his right mind would willingly choose to block pucks and balls with his body? Most kids dreamed of scoring that winning goal; I dreamed of preventing it.

In my earliest days of playing hockey it was all I could do to stand on my skates without falling over. I have a video of my first game. Everyone is in position for the opening faceoff, but they all had to wait as I slowly made my way from the bench to the goal, falling several times along the way. In those early years when I was scored upon – which happened quite regularly – coaches and parents and teammates would all come up and express words of encouragement. And this mostly consisted of them saying “it’s not your fault.” When I was six, that was helpful to hear.

As I grew older I allowed far fewer goals. And it became increasingly clear to me that, as a matter of fact, it was entirely my fault when a goal was scored. Whose fault could it be? Goaltending is very difficult, but it’s also insanely simple: keep the puck out of the net. That’s it.

And that’s a pretty hard line to take on your own performance. But I did it, every day, and still came back for more. Goals would score, I’d blame myself, and inevitably more goals would come. I’d have good days and some bad ones too, all the while trying to give off the impression of an even-keeled goaltender. I loved it. Maybe that’s why goalies are crazy.

But the real crux of the matter isn’t the degree to which I blamed myself. The real test came after the goal was scored and the teams were lining up for the next faceoff. What then? How would I react? The goal had already scored, the right light had flashed, and the crowd was still excited…but what will you do now? Because another shot is coming. At least I know that much.